Dating firm for married
Wanting to get married is a good thing; it’s a natural consequence of mature love and self-giving.So in the same way that it’s important for you to try to understand your boyfriend’s desires, it’s also important that he understands your desires and does his best to help you feel confident that he is taking your relationship seriously.My marriage conversations with my now-husband started taking a turn for the better when I became brave enough to give him the space to come to a decision on his own.
I was sure he was the one, I felt ready, and I knew he loved me back, so why not move ahead?
Meanwhile, my husband was enjoying our dating relationship, felt no urge to get married right then, and only looked at me blankly when I tried to describe my feelings about the situation. Without even really realizing it, I responded with pressure.
After all, if a guy’s in love, he should stop at nothing, right?
When our relationship hit a plateau and my husband seemed to be perfectly content with the status quo, I became discouraged, thinking, “this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.” Then, when my husband started feeling the pressure I put on him, he began to get discouraged for the same reason.
Women, on the other hand, typically don’t care as much about the circumstances as they do about spending their lives with the other person.
Understanding that he’s coming from a different place will help you have a conversation that brings you closer to a compromise.
I knew I had made a big mistake when one day he turned to me and said, “I’m not sure you would even care who you were going to marry as long as you were getting married.” My pressure project had backfired.
Instead of convincing him to get married, I had only convinced him that I cared more about marriage than about him. It took a long time to arrive at a happy conclusion.
There are many reasons why your man might be dragging his feet, but often it just comes down to the fact that women typically feel ready for marriage before most men.
“Historically men have been more eager to marry when they’re financially secure, and women have wanted to marry when they wanted children,” Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and renowned love researcher, tells explains it, “He first needs to feel like he knows what he’s doing in the world and where he’s going; women are more concerned about who they’re going with.” Men typically like to feel financially secure and feel as though they have a firm footing on a career path before they take the plunge.
It is difficult to be motivated when he is not needed.” The truth is, by pressuring my husband while we were dating, I was essentially telling him that he was the roadblock preventing me from finding happiness.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating