How much is dating without drama

She has to be clear about what she wants/expects (none of this passive-aggressive “I shouldn’t have to tell you,” because expecting anyone to be a mindreader is unfair, and multiply that tenfold when your target is a teenager), and he has to explain that he didn’t understand how important this was to her, and he didn’t realize how uncaring his actions appeared.

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” and then landed a stinging slap on his cheek and stormed off.

Needless to say, he has much to learn about the opposite sex, and I teased him that he may get a few more slaps from the ladies until he learns what it means to be a gentleman.

So, for example, in this particular scenario, I think it’s perfectly valid for your son to tell his girlfriend something along the lines of “I don’t always just know what you want, and it feels a little bit like you get angry when I don’t, instead of telling me what you’d like me to do differently.

Next time I screw up, can you please calmly tell me what you want so I have a chance to fix things before it’s a huge blowup? As soon as “but” is added to the apology itself, it becomes a non-apology.

If he was 13 instead of 17, I’d say you offer counsel, regardless, but at this age, you’re better off waiting for him to come to you.

If he doesn’t want your opinion, offering it may cause more problems.

Just wondered if you had any nuggets of wisdom to offer.

A lot of this sounds like every teenage relationship ever. Remember back when Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and all the hubbub about couples learning each others’ love languages came out?

Remind him, too, that the goal in any conversation like this is to achieve understanding, not to be “right.” No one wins when it’s about being right—in a relationship the goal is to understand one another.

I’m of the belief that apologies are something of a lost art in today’s society.

Again, you may disagree, and I know in different cultures this may be viewed differently, but if this was my child?

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