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When a parent dies, there is grief, of course, but there is also liberation.You must grow up, and one of the grown-up things I wanted to do was write novels.Yesterday, a survey about the reading habits of 2,000 women aged between 45 and 60 reveals that nearly two thirds are keen on raunchy scenes in novels.

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I took a deep breath and just went for it, typing up to 8,000 words a day.

Drawing on what I knew as a grown-up woman about what people do – and don't do – when trying to get it on with another person. Not "good in bed", not able to write realistic scenes.

I was quite astonished to see how old-fashioned some were, with women taking quite traditional roles and doing polite and rather unrealistic jobs.

There were sex scenes all right, but they seemed dropped in from a great height, and quite pornographic while lacking authenticity and passion.

In fact my mother-in-law praised my ability to write realistically about sex – rather surprising, perhaps, for a "nice girl".

After my parents had both died (when I was 47), I found passionate letters and photographs dating from the Second World War that told a very different story about their attitudes when young.

Perhaps I sensed the undertow that informed their marriage, and writing about earlier generations has been my way of trying to work it out.

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