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Always, and I mean ALWAYS, order or cook more than you can possibly eat because your stick-thin Polish girlfriend will inevitably develop the appetite of a blue whale the moment her anxiously selected ‘small salad’ arrives. You can kiss other women She has female friends and it’s perfectly acceptable, in fact encouraged, for you to kiss all of them up to three times every time you see them. She’s smarter than you are The Polish education system is a marvel and good education is respected above almost everything else here.

Exactly where you put your hands while you are doing this is a issue I have yet to resolve successfully. Chances are that your Polish girlfriend not only speaks English, German, and Russian (how many languages do you speak) but also has a pretty good grasp of a lot of things that you slept through at school.

This is the definitive list of ‘things to remember’ …at least until I think of the next definitive list.

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About 90 percent of all women in Poland are named Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, or Kasia. Flower-selling is an immensely profitable and stable business in Poland. I’m not even mentioning Valentine’s Day; that’s so obvious that you entirely deserve to lose a testicle if you forget it in Poland. She is a a princess Polish girls are brought up in the tradition of old-fashioned chivalry and deference to the ‘weaker sex.’ That means YOU carry the bags, open the door, mend things, make tea in the morning, escort her to the bus stop etc. Walking is impossible Part of the chivalry thing mentioned above is the expectation that whenever you are walking somewhere together she should have her arm looped through yours.

There are flower sellers everywhere and, until recently, they were about the only businesses that stayed open on a Sunday. When a little exasperated by this I often point out to my girlfriend that she’s being a ‘bit of a princess’ to which she usually smiles and flutters her eyelids in complete ignorance of the negative connotations of the phrase in British and American English. Down narrow and crowded streets this makes progress painfully slow.

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There people are already "szoping" (shopping) for clothes, such as a 'tiszert', or going for a 'drinkowac' at the pub, presumably with a 'lajtowy' or light, easy going person."English is being used more and more," said Aneta Prasal-Wisniewska, a specialist on Polish and British cultural links at the Adam Mickiewicz Institute in Warsaw.

"It's connected to the rise of the internet and the fact that people are travelling so much more." "There are some small Polish towns and cities where huge groups left to go the UK, now when they meet up together back in Poland it's no surprise if they use slang with English words," she said.

There are an awful lot of guys out there in Poland (and elsewhere) with Polish girlfriends.

It’s not always an easy thing, I know and I feel your pain.

"We mix the two languages together all the time," said Magda Pustola, from the Polish Cultural Institute in London.

"It's absolutely common to blend words and phrases.

We find that more and more English is creeping into our Polish ­ even in meetings at the institute." Some Polish workers in the UK report that the slang has become a secret language that infuriates older Poles back home who can't understand what they are saying.

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